I just got back from my last dinner with my host family. My host mother didn't mince words: "wow, your Japanese has gotten worse!" So, inspired by Mike's blog (OK, so I ripped the idea off him completely), here are some of my biggest and best Japanese blunders:

• Do you have something to put on your hand when you hold something that's too hot?
  
• On my work: There are these big animals that want to eat little animals but the little animals are too fast. So by themselves they can't do it. But together they can. But in a computer?. Just like in The Matrix, those agents--they can think, they can learn. But they're programs. I'm making these animal programs. It's hard to explain in Japanese.
  
• Agent: Do you have a [Japanese] student ID?
  Me: I'm sorry, I can't speak Japanese.
  Agent: Is there a problem?
  Me: I'm sorry. I'm going to get a friend who can speak Japanese to call you back in a few minutes.
  
• Which sake has small rice added to it?
  
• Me: Where is the alcohol?
  Clerk: Beer?
  Me: No, Japanese alcohol. Alcohol.
  
• Tomomi: My English is terrible.
  Me: No, it�fs really good. You�fve only been studying a few years but still you haven�ft quite gotten good at English yet.
  Tomomi: Oh.
  
• KFC Clerk: Is eating here all right? [instead of take-out]
  Me: Qoo, please.
  KFC: Excuse me?
  Me: As for a drink, I�fd like a Qoo, please.
  KFC: Yes, one Qoo. Will you be eating here?