So i finally got my sick desktop back. I went to go set it up, thinking it'd just take an hour or so.
Mistake #1.
10 PM. Plug it in, boot it up, install that RPC patch. Note this was the first thing I did.
The CD instructs me to reboot and run Windows Update. Which I do, since there's another RPC patch I need. Only trouble is there are like 25 MB of "critical" updates I need for this machine. Which, of course, I download like a good little Microsoft lemming.
It also turns out I need to activate Windows. Fine, I muse, as the updates download. Mistake #2. So I painstakingly key in that ghastly 30-character product key, only to be rejected. I need Microsoft's explicit permission to use Windows. So I call and start reading off an even longer 45-digit number over a cell phone. Mistake #3. The automated voice couldn't understand me so I eventually start typing in numbers the old-fashioned way. I finally get them all in when the voice decides to disconnect me, as if to spite me for not wanting to talk to it.
When I finally get a human to talk to I got the third degree, since this being my second activation in the past month, it looked as if I either got my kicks by installing Windows or was pirating Windows on three machines. I'm reminded why I never bought Office XP (or 2000, for that matter...) Eventually, Microsoft bestows on me the privilege of running Windows by giving me another 30-digit code to enter. I finally reboot. Everything's happy. I even download a firewall and antivirus software to complete my newfound sense of security. Mistake #4.
All of a sudden my Internet connection dies. Sort of. OK, I figure, as a seasoned Windows user, I'll just restart. Mistake #5. Windows doesn't want to reboot completely. So I start freaking out in my sleep-deprived state, suspecting this has something to do with that RPC vulnerability. I shut down the computer and start hunting around for an antivirus disc to boot from, which gives me a clean bill of health. E-mail sent to RCC at 1 AM reporting suspiciousness.
Next I wanted to determine that it wasn't Windows screwing up. So I boot into Linux (off a CD, since the people who fixed my computer decided I wouldn't need the Linux that was on my hard drive and conveniently obliterated it for me), to find, lo and behold, that I can't connect from there either.
Eventually I discovered that I can boot...every 3rd or 4th try. And I eventually found out the reason why this minty-fresh Windows install is flaking out is that it can't connect to some important server. And the reason it can't connect is I've been blackholed. (Nice of them to tell me... eventually I was moaning to Jim, an RCC from outside Potter, who tipped me off to this underhanded practice.)
Yes, me, the innocent CS major who installed all the patches, and even firewalled off the RPC ports to make sure, got blackholed. See, during my half-hour Microsoft lovefest with Windows Update and Product Activation, ITSS port-scanned me and discovered one of the holes hadn't been patched yet. So they put me on the blacklist--even though I closed off that port entirely afterwards. It seems I fixed the problem too well with my firewall.
So now it's 2 AM and I'm sitting here, grumpily listening to 98 Degrees from "Benny-pod" because iTunes is the only Internet app that still works. (Clearly our priorities are in line.) I'm waiting for ITSS to scan my system through the little back door I left for them. But even though it took them only half an hour to block my system they report it may take 25 hours for them to unblock it.
If this is what I'm like on 5 hours of sleep this week is going to be very interesting...
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